Thursday, September 9, 2010

'Exile On GRRL Street', Or How THE STONES Can Do Riot Grrrls Doing Them!



Imagine THE STONES honoring women who have honored them! Videos and Playlist below!




F O R E P L A Y


Or, 'I Bet You're Papa Don't Know You Can Bite Like That'


THE ROLLING STONES went into tax exile in 1971 to avoid England's insane tariff fees. The resulting double-album "EXILE ON MAIN STREET" has a sloppy grace to it, recorded by shifting members with bad habits in the basement of a French villa. That shambling excess and ruined glory parade had a huge impact on bands from Glam to Punk, from The New York Dolls and Patti Smith to Husker Du and Sonic Youth.



Keith Richards had a signature hit with his 'stud on the run' anthem, "Happy".

RS -"Happy" (1972)



That song is the obvious blueprint for John Cougar (pre- Mellencamp)'s boneheaded "I Need A Lover". But it also triggered this scorching riposte from LIZ PHAIR.

LIZ PHAIR felt like an outcast in a male-driven Chicago music scene. Her 1993 debut album "EXILE IN GUYVILLE" leveled the playing field, routinely voted as the best Indie album of the year. Before her, Pussy Galore had done a cassette-only remake of "Exile On Main Street" in their trademark 'rip it up and fall apart' Punk style. But Liz's album was a song-by-song response of original songs.



Her response to "Happy" is a scalpel stripping away stupid male bullshit. After years of 'personal freedom' songs by selfish guys who just treat women like groupies, this song killed all that flat dead with a cold stare and a wounded heart. And it has a great riff, too!

LIZ PHAIR -"Fuck And Run" (1993)





C O I T U S


Or, 'Have You Seen Your Daughter, Baby, Stepping Out Of The Shadows?'




My fantasy is that THE STONES should cock a snook at their own studboy stance in their finest androgyne tradition and record a cover album of female rockers' songs influenced by them.

Here's a video set-list of songs they should do, or you can listen to a playlist instead.


Presenting "EXILE ON GRRL STREET"!


S I D E / O N E



BETTY DAVIS -"They Say I'm Different" (1974)


IKE & TINA TURNER -"Baby Get It On" (1974)


THE RUNAWAYS -"Hollywood" (1977)


SUZI QUATRO -"Tear Me Apart" (1978)


PATTI SMITH -"25th Floor" (1978)


CANDY SLICE (Gilda Radner) -"Gimme Mick" (1979)


(Just begs for a duet of Mick and Marianne playing the two parts...)
MARIANNE FAITHFULL -"Why'd Ya Do It?" (1979)



S I D E / T W O


HEART -"Even It Up" (1980)


(In the spirit of "Miss You"...)
GRACE JONES -"Pull Up To The Bumper" (1981)


(In the spirit of "Shattered"...)
BUSH TETRAS -"Too Many Creeps" (1982)


THE PANDORAS -"Want Need Love" (1984)


THE BROOD -"Satisfyin' " (1988)


EURYTHMICS -"I Need A Man" (1988)


(This was Liz's response to "Loving Cup" from "Exile On Main Street"...)
LIZ PHAIR -"Mesmerizing" (1993)


PJ HARVEY -"Rid Of Me" (1994, live 2001)



S I D E / T H R E E


(In the spirit of "Dead Flowers"...)
HOLE -"Doll Parts" (1994)


ELASTICA -"Never Here" (1995)


THE HEADCOATEES -"Punk Girl" (1997)


(For the title alone...)
TRACY BONHAM -"You Can't Always Not Get What You Don't Want" (2000)


BOSS HOGG -"Whiteout" (2000)


GARBAGE -"Cherry Lips" (2002)



S I D E / F O U R


THE KILLS -"Cat Claw" (2002)


(Just for the genderfluck chorus "Boy, you're such a stupid bitch and girl, you're just a no-good dick" alone...)
YEAH YEAH YEAH -"Black Tongue" (2003)


(In the spirit of "Wild Horses"...)
GILLIAN WELCH + David Rawlings -"Look At Miss Ohio" (2004)


THE DIRTY BURDS -"Sick Bitch" (2004)


JULIETTE LEWIS & THE LICKS -"Hot Kiss" (2006)


PEACHES + Joan Jett -"You Love It" (2006)





A F T E R G L O W



C'mon, Mick and Keith, it's a win-win. You bring all their audiences into yours, stay hip, honor those who honored you, get them some really deserved royalties, put some perverse verve back into your image, don't strain for any new songs, and inspire a lot more young women out there. It's all good!


Ah well, this awesome album will probably never happen. You can't always get what you want.

I know, it's only ROCK Sex, but I can fantasize! (Yes, I do!)

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